You Should See the Teens.

Do not say, “I am too young.” Jeremiah 1:7

            It starts to brew right around April.

            It’s that feeling, that knowing that summer is right around the corner. Maybe you know it, too. The summer is a magical time when people are joyful and golden and hearts are lighter and more free. But I do not love the summer mainly because of beach days or barbecues or anything of that sort…those things are certainly wonderful. I love the summer because it is a season filled with weeks upon weeks of amazing teens and their encounters with Jesus Christ.

            In the summer I am humbled day after day for what I am able to witness. These experiences give me great reason to laugh when I hear someone declare, as I did recently...“Millennials just don’t care about religion.”

            I am inclined to invite someone who thinks so to come spend a week with me in the summer and see what I am so blessed to see.

            I spend my summer with young people who shatter the generalization that teenagers just don’t care about anything. Because what I see is teens who care more than many people in this world could probably believe…young people who long for something more, something deep, something that gives their life a purpose and a meaning...teens who surrender themselves to powerful worship, who pray over and with one another, and who spend days or weeks in beautiful fellowship with one another.

            I see teens totally sold out for something completely contrary to what their world is telling them to sell out for.

            And it never gets less incredible or less beautiful.

            I look for words to describe it, but no English suffices. Inspiring, wonderful, amazing…there is not a word that expresses the magnitude. I pass by the lines for Confession…they wrap around walls and rooms and buildings…hundreds of teens who know the power of mercy and know well their need for it…my goodness. They fill up a huge abbey on a hill in Kansas and sing loudly and joyfully to our King, with each step throughout their week of formation bringing them to a great and full surrender of their lives to a loving God. I nearly burst with joy for the opportunity to laugh with these teens and move through crowds of them and hear about their day on the river as I eat with them in the mess hall or eat pizza with them in hotel lobbies on Saturday nights.

            What I feel most blessed by is the view that I can never take for granted for a moment…this view that allows me to watch as Jesus passes by each one of them in adoration. I am humbled, honored to get this most incredible seat from the stage as Christ passes by and anoints them, blesses them, showers them with His love as they reach out their hands as far as they can to touch His clothes.

            They reach out because they know their need and they know they don’t need this world but a Savior.

            I take flight after flight, check into hotel after hotel, and I float around from city to city, in near-speechless awe at what God is doing. I want to tell every person I meet because it is running uncontainable in my bones…

            “The Church isn’t dead. You should see the teens.”

Filling Up the Back Pews.

                Everyone talks about it like it's some longstanding joke. Catholics will all fill up the back pews of the Church. You and I both know it; the back of the Church is always full before the front.

            While at a daily Mass recently at a massive, magnificent church in Orange County, there were very few people in the front. Everyone was scattered around the back of the Church, and the back was incredibly far away from the greatest miracle we can witness every single day.

            Go to a concert and you will see people stand in line for hours to get a seat close to the stage, close to the action, close to the famous musicians. Any concert or show is arguably better from the pit or the front seats…the prices for the orchestra seating at a big show on Broadway usually involve a few figurative arms and legs. These seats are of great value because you can see everything happening first-hand, and not only that, the energy is incredible. I usually end up making friends with people standing close by in the pit at a concert. A group of people crowded together makes for a great sense of belonging, of us all being here for one purpose...because we LOVE this music.

            And I wonder...are we so desensitized to the miracle of the Eucharist that we do not care to be as close to it as possible? Would we stand in line for hours to get a spot in the front pews if we only got to witness this miracle when Jesus came through on tour? And are we so concerned with our individual prayer lives that we each pick our one little seat, scattered across the entire Church, as if we did not feel like a community at all?

            I wonder, really, what it would be like if we all sat in the front pews. That it was a thing, that in every Catholic Church, you filled up the front pews first. Would people who stopped by, who were forced to sit close to others, feel like they belonged to something, and return? Would we make friends because we would be sitting in close proximity to a stranger and feel like maybe we could or should introduce ourselves? Would someone who stopped by a Mass for the first time ever see that we are a community, rather than a scattered group of individual relationships with Jesus? Would we feel more like a community of believers, people gathered together, with the common knowledge that we LOVE this Jesus Christ...who isn't a rock star or a celebrity or great musician, but the King of all the Earth?

Voices.

            We all get to choose the voices we listen to.

            That angel on one shoulder, devil on the other imagery...it seems like an appropriate picture for a woman's life when it comes to the battle of those voices and confidence within ourselves.

            I have been reflecting on the voices lately, after receiving evaluations from a parish event I spoke at last year. There were many wonderful things said, comments that used words like "inspiring" "moving" and "wonderful." Then there were the few that followed, saying, "She was so boring, I couldn't wait until she left the stage"..."Her talk was just awful and she looked SO tired!!!"

            Ouch.

            People have said far worse things about me in my life, but my reaction to this made me pause to think about those voices we listen to. A few years ago, I was a woman who tended toward the habit of letting these negative things said about me shape what I thought of myself. After much prayer and thought, I have been consciously attempting to reconfigure the impact I allow negative comments or thoughts to have on me, and immediately recognized in that moment that I would normally think about the 5 terribly critical comments all day, rather than the 40 great ones. I would over think...how could I have made it less boring for those people, why did I look tired, how could I have made it more engaging, are my talks really that bad, am I reaching anyone? I would not be able to get past the bad that someone said about me to dwell on the good.

            It is what some of us as women do. You can hear 50 people affirm you through a season of your life...but in one brief moment one woman says something terribly mean about you and you cannot navigate around it loud in your head. Are you a woman who listens to the 50 or are you a woman who cannot get around the one?

            The beautiful part, as in everything, is that we get to choose. So I chose. I took it in stride and decided to continue trying to improve my talks as I do after every event, but I decided to listen to the positives. Instead of dwelling on the disheartening ones, I chose to focus on the "wonderful" and "inspiring" and allow those to help me remember that as I continually grow, I am having a positive impact on people and that I must keep going.

            And so I pose the question to you today...which voices do you listen to? Can you allow the positive things people have spoken into your heart be your guide, instead of letting the negative ones shape your self-talk and the decisions you make? Give the positive voices the power. Take the negative voices in stride. Learn, grow, and change. Dwell on affirmation. Listen to Love.

The One Blog I Want You to Read and Share.

"I’m wildly angry that I want to forget the struggle of the poor so I can pin the next pretty idea on Pinterest. Once we have seen the poor, we are responsible — we will make a response. As long as your heart is beating, there’s no such thing as unresponsive. We all look into the face of the poor and it’s either Yes, I will help. Or no, I won’t..."

            I live a comfortable life. When I sit and truly reflect on what I have in comparison to much of the world, it begins to make me sick.  

            I have never had to worry about whether there would be food on the table. I have never had a closet that was not full. I have never been without a roof, without a car, without anything. I have never been without.

            And all this time, throughout my life, I have known about the less fortunate. I know about them. When I was young, I put together a little cardboard box during Lent to donate to poor people. I give money to them on the side of the freeways and I sponsor my sweet little Compassion child Daniel in Ghana and I give. There are a million causes to give to, there are countless worthy GoFundMe pages that fly through my social media every day. But when it comes to responding to the less fortunate the way God calls us to...I know well that I do not give until it really, really hurts. I do not give until I have to trust God that this crazy amount He is asking me to give is really what He wants me to give.

            One day I met a young man while doing ministry in Africa, and I heard about his poor...the poor in his communities, the poor surrounding him in his country. The ones who need necessities as well as the poor in Spirit, the ones who need hope and light in their lives...the ones who need to hear about Jesus.  

            You may know Moses. He is a young man who lives in Uganda. In the Catholic world across America, it sometimes feels as though Moses knows everyone. Sometimes you find out that an acquaintance you have just met knows Moses, too, and you both sit there in the mutual knowing that he is one of the most incredible human beings both of you will ever meet.

            Moses works tirelessly to help his peers and his community encounter Jesus Christ...it is truly unbelievable. In his day to day life, he studies and works as any young man in his early twenties does. He dedicates every spare minute outside of this, every spare ounce of energy in his heart, to giving everything he has to help the people in his country encounter Christ. He never, ever stops giving. As if all of this wasn't enough for a 23-year-old man, he also raises his younger siblings. Both his parents passed away when the children were young, and he became the head of his family as a fourteen-year-old boy.

            I know nothing about sacrifice when I stand next to this young man.

            Moses knows what it means to sacrifice.  

            And I write this piece because there are so few ways I feel I can help one of the most selfless individuals I have met. I will speak at many events this summer. At these events there will probably be great lighting, some fog machines, incredible sound systems and technical set-ups. We will eat Chick-fil-A and laugh and we will not think about how we go without. We will put a little money in the collection baskets that go by, drink clean water out of our water bottles, and praise God collectively for a few days.

            Moses will put on a conference this summer, and just to begin with, he just needs money to feed the teens who come.

            Recently,  I met someone who had gone to this conference in Uganda. He told me of how these teens come to the conference, come from many families who want for many things...and in all their need, during that offering in the middle of Mass, they get up to put the little they have in the basket. And the conviction pierces me straight through my heart because we spend our days carefree going to Chipotle with our friends and buying new bags and cool Vans and we put a few bucks in the basket that passes by.   

            And they are the woman with the two coins...giving when they have nearly nothing to give.

          And so today, I am asking you to give - to give food, something we so take for granted, as well as the Bread of Life - to teens who hunger and thirst for it so deeply in their lives. I am asking you to give to this fund that helps Moses put on a conference that is so incredibly important to him, his teens, and his community.

            "Why would we rather turn a blind eye to the needy than turn to the needy and be like Christ? Do we like our own wants and comfort more than we want to be like Christ?..."

            God has called me to match every donation up to a certain number for the week after I post this. So, if you give $10, I will give $10, so you will really be giving $20. If you give $40, I will give $40, too - $80. I cannot ask you to give if I am not willing to give sacrificially, myself.

            I know from personal experience that it takes one personal encounter with Christ to radically change your life. Will you join me in helping Moses in his mission to bring Jesus to his peers who need Him, that they may have an encounter with the living God? Will you join me in making Moses' selfless heart burst for joy at the generosity of his sisters and brothers in Christ?

"Who is ready to have less so we all have something, or do we all want everything so most get nothing?

We've got all of God. Why not share the rest?" - Ann Voskamp

The link to Moses' campaign is here:

https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/give-the-gift-of-the-gospel-2015

When I Want to be There for Them All.

I tell you this
to break your heart,
by which I mean only
that it break open and never close again
to the rest of the world.

-Mary Oliver

            There is a sadness I carry that can be difficult to put words to. Tears usually fall as I try to explain it to anyone who asks.  

            I hold the pain of women in my heart. God has called me to it. 

            When you involve yourself in a profession or place where people share their pain with you, an unresolved part of your heart begins to form. This unresolved place in my own heart is a seemingly endless abyss...it is this part of me that wants to listen to every young woman who exists...but my heart knows that it is an impossibility...

            I want to be there for them all.

            I want to stand with the one who is striving for a deep relationship with God, and giving her life as a teenager to ardent faith, leading her youth group, sometimes wondering if she is making any difference at all...I want to look her in the eyes on days of discouragement and tell her that God sees every moment, He sees her giving and loving and He whispers all day long...you are my beloved daughter, in you I am well pleased. 

            I want to stand with the ones who speak hate to themselves all day long. I want to hold the hands of the one who cries into the mirror, who sobs into her pillow, calling herself ugly, worthless into the air and tell her, remind her, of her worth in Christ...I want to stand next to her in that mirror and remember our worth and our beauty and our magnificence together...

            I want to hold the hand of the young woman with cuts on her arms, trying desperately to deal with pain by inflicting pain. I want to help her to see that pain does not help pain, that Jesus heals all. That Christ binds up our wounds and whatever it is she is going through, He is there in it...ready, waiting to meet her in her suffering...

            I want to listen to the girl whose parents are getting divorced, her family crumbling to the ground right before her eyes, holding it all in because she does not want to be a burden to anyone who passes by. And I want to sit at lunch with the girl who is hiding in the library, or the bathroom, or a classroom, feeling completely unwelcome and alone. I want to tell her, because I know she needs badly to hear someone say, "You can sit with me..." 

            My heart aches to do all these things and I struggle...I want every young woman to have a friend to speak to in hardship and in joy, to be there, and listen to her, and love her. I will never reach every one. It is frustrating and challenging and deeply saddening when I think of the young women who have never even been given the opportunity to be listened to, to feel deeply loved by a friend, or even to hear about Christ. 

            And so I reach out to them as the starfish being tossed back into the sea...one by one...I take their stories one by one and I keep them close as prayers in my heart. Our good God keeps my heart together as I look into the eyes of each one who shares with me. He keeps my eyes fixed on Him as I read the messages of women looking for answers, for acceptance, for someone to love them. He gives me the grace to hold their pain in my heart and hand their pain over to Him. I do not carry what they hand over to me in trust because I know I cannot carry it. Only He can carry it. 

            And as I reach out I recognize God growing this tree where one encouraged woman reaches out to encourage another woman, and branches are built and we grow stronger together by reaching out to one another. I pass on encouragement, and try to pass on light, and love, and grace...and hope that she who I do get to stand with will pass it on to the next who needs this light and love and grace and joy...women passing radiance to one another, creating a golden thread of light that connects us all, held together by the love of one another and by the embrace of our loving God.

You Know the Rules, Right?

       We had just gotten engaged two days before and were at daily Mass together. I told Daniël we should ask the priest for a blessing, because he was the first priest we had come in contact with since we got engaged. 

       So after Mass we saw the priest, introduced ourselves, and asked him if he would give us this blessing. This conversation ensued. 

       Priest: First of all, you guys know the rules right?

       Daniël: The rules?

       Priest: Yeah, the rules. The rules about you being engaged.

       Me: What rules?

       Daniël: Father, please explain further…

       Priest: Just because you’re engaged doesn’t mean you’re married. You don’t get to do the things married people get to do.

        Me (Sensing where he is trying to go): Are you talking about sex? Are you talking about how we’re not supposed to have sex until we’re married?

       Priest: Yes.

       Me: Well…….yeah. Obviously.   

       This was an altogether disappointing and awkward encounter for me. He gave us a very nice blessing after our discussion, but I was sad at the fact that he did not even take a moment to rejoice with us before telling us in a very strange way that just because we are engaged does not mean we can break the “rules.” I find no fault with this priest, as many couples do not choose the same road that Daniël and I have chosen and for some this teaching is not obvious, and I must give him the benefit of the doubt that he was trying to shepherd us in the best way he knew how. But as I thought about my annoyance with the encounter, I thought about how the world thinks along this vane, too…we have loved one another for nearly two years now…gosh, we must be desperate to have sex with each other.

         This is not the case at all. Abstaining from sex until marriage has never been about following a "rule," dreadfully waiting to be released from its' confines. Nor are we in some massive hurry to get married so we can bring that into our relationship. Why? Because our relationship is incredibly wonderful and fulfilling as is…our relationship has consisted solely of getting to know the heart of the other, which has always made me comfortable, happy, and confident throughout our entire dating process. I have never for a moment wondered if I am being used for my body, and I have never questioned what Daniël’s love for me is based on. I am grateful. We decided together to follow the laws of God because we know that God decreed these for the good of our human hearts.  

       The world tells us all day long about how sex is an integral part of any relationship, while most often forgetting to tell us that there are many avenues by which you can show your love to someone other than physically. It tells young people that if you do not know your partner physically and intimately, something is weird, something is wrong. Our culture says that healthy dating relationships are based on a good sex life, and nothing about sacrifice and deep, true, genuine, giving to the other. Just read the headlines on a few magazines for younger people…every other cover story seems to be about dating in regards to sex. I see no headlines or cover stories about sacrifice. 

       I have never had to give of my body to Daniël in order to make our relationship “normal,” nor am I in such a desperate hurry to give of my body to him that as soon as he puts an engagement ring on my hand I decide it’s the same as being in the sacrament of marriage. It’s not. And we know that. The gift of sex is meant for the sacrament of marriage in order to be bonded to your spouse in the most beautiful way, and no, being engaged to someone is not the sacrament of marriage. And that is perfectly okay with me, because when the day does come that we enter into this sacrament, it will be as it was designed to be. It will be within the correct context, the most beautiful context, the safest and most sure context of all – within a grace-filled sacrament in which we have made a covenant with God to love each other no. matter. what.  

       In the meantime, we will continue to love one another for the next many months of this engagement – supporting one another spiritually and emotionally, joyfully encouraging one another to grow to be the people God created us to be, and having a blast all along the way.

The Pressure to Fall.

       Society loves to watch good people fall.

       Recently, I watched an episode of the show Preachers Daughters in order to make a social commentary on it in my women’s sessions. Lifetime Network got a handful of daughters of Christian preachers together and put them in a house exactly as you would see on The Real World. They were sent out under the guise of doing "mission work" with an organization in Mexico. There was no hiding the obvious intention of letting us watch these girls who come from very Christian families with good Christian values go nuts. 

       And indeed they did. The ugliness that ensued in the house is unwatchable. The network got exactly what they wanted...young Christian girls losing their minds drunk, going out to clubs in Mexico (of course they placed the girls in a country where the minimum age to go to clubs is 18), having wild parties at their house and hiring strippers, and screaming and throwing things at one another. They fell, possibly harder than the network had even hoped for or anticipated.

       As I thought about this premise, I could only think of how this scenario plays out in the lives of many good, virtuous young people I know on a smaller scale. It is entirely reflective of what some young Catholics and Christians deal with on a regular basis.

       You may be the good girl or the good guy that everyone knows is the good girl or guy in your family, school, community, or elsewhere. And you may very well have run across people who just want you to give in. You may have friends or acquaintances who pressure you to go against what you believe or try everything they can to set you up for it. Maybe you have heard the comments from one or dozens of people before...things like "I can't WAIT to see you drunk for the first time! We need to get you drunk!" and many, many more.

       Choose virtue and there is a good chance you will run into someone or many people who will want to see you fall. They want you to go to a party or drink because they want to try to prove that it is impossible to have fun without doing so. They want you to have sex because they cannot handle the “archaic” notion that it is possible to value your body and your soul enough to abstain from sex until marriage. They want to try to justify their belief that there is no alternative to going with the flow.  

       Why else would someone have offered to pay any woman one million dollars to prove that Tim Tebow was lying about his virginity? He was the picture of a young man with great character and virtue and some people wanted to prove that it was impossible to maintain such integrity.

       Choose a life of virtue and there is a great possibility you will run across people who bother you about it or pressure you to conform. Pay them no mind. It is okay to be different. It is incredibly worthwhile to be a young person of great integrity and faith.

       Stand firm in what you believe and what you choose. And never, ever be afraid to show others by the way you live that there is an alternative to going with the flow. 

Dear Fiancé.

Dear Fiancé,

       As we prepare for marriage, I have been reflecting lately on the many ways I have grown and changed since you came into my life. I have put some of my thoughts together and what I have come to recognize is the many, many things you have taught me and helped me to remember. You began to teach me on the day we met. 

       This was the first meal we shared. You taught me about Dutch food. You were very kind as you led me, a clueless American girl, through a menu made of a bunch of jumbled up letters in order to help me pick something I would like.

       In those first times we spent together, you began to teach me how to follow. I had to follow you around in an entirely new country and let someone else lead me rather than figure everything out for myself and be in control. That was a challenge but you led me well and made me feel comfortable being the one who wasn't in control of where I was going or what I would do next. You have never stopped leading me since.

       After I met you and had to go home, by your total faith in God's providence I learned to trust God more. You taught me that there are good men in this world who love their Catholic faith. I had lost faith that there were men out there to date who loved those things like I do. You showed me that above all else you wanted to lead me closer to God and suggested we pray a rosary together every week. So I prayed yours that you had given to me…

       And you prayed mine that I had given you. 

       There was not much that could prepare us for the waiting. So we learned to wait together. 

       And when I came back to see what God's crazy plan was for us, you taught me what it is to pursued by a real man. On our first date you planned a private tour of the Basilica I fell in love with on my first trip there. We went to the Onze Lieve Vrouw Basilica and we were let into the shrine room for a brief moment and we kneeled on this kneeler together and you led us in a decade of the rosary because I was too moved and crying too hard to say anything. Thank you for getting us through that one.

       You took me to Amsterdam early on, and we went on train rides like this one together and you let me know that it was okay to just be me. That you liked me for me and that was who you wanted to get to know. So we were us together. 

       You reminded me to take in every moment and that everything is a celebration, every moment is a cause for joy. You planned a trip to Paris and when we got into France you got off the freeway and pulled the car over in the closest parking lot so that we could celebrate my first steps ever in France with some swing dancing. In these moments you helped me remember my joy that had been crushed by a lot of tough events in my life. Thank you.

       You taught me how important St. Michael would be for us. And he certainly has been our great defender.

       One evening we decided to run up the stairs to the Eiffel Tower, and you taught me to just keep on going, even if that meant slowly because of my asthma. You let me take my time, and in doing so taught me that sometimes slow and steady is the way we need to get places and to reach our goal...that if I reach my end goal that is the most important thing of all.

       When we went to the Shrine of the Miraculous Medal, you taught me about creativity and finding creative ways to make things happen. They would not let me in because I was wearing shorts, so you told me to make a skirt out of the dolphin blanket. And it worked. I would have just walked away otherwise. 

       Later on that year, we were in Santa Barbara and we rented a tandem bicycle. You were great at being in the front. I was not. I nearly crashed badly a few times and almost took a few other people out, and I told you I was getting off the bike and you were going to be in the front again. 

       And you would not let me give up. You told me I was going to try and try again until I got it. And eventually I did. And you helped me remember that life is never, ever, ever about giving up.

       We have had some very, very hard days. And in them you taught me new lessons about forgiveness and about teamwork and pushing through.

       And I kept having to leave and you kept teaching me to trust what God was doing.

       You have taught me more about sacrificing than can be put into words. You have shown me by your actions that you know well and deep that love requires great sacrifice. Like the times you have spent Christmases in California instead of Holland so we could spend them together.  

       I have been uncool and nerdy my entire life. You have not been uncool or nerdy a day in your life. You let me sing loudly and dance around, and sometimes my wildness has been embarrassing for us all but you let me be me anyway. You have helped me to learn to just love every facet of my personality and to forget all the mean things that people have said about me. 

       Yes, and you kept having to leave, too, and we held on together and you did not waver.

             And when we were together again, you taught me about our roles in the tasks of gardening we must do every weekend in Holland. I get to pick up chestnuts like a lady and you get to stand in trees and cut them like a man.

       You taught me that when it comes to being pursued, I am and will always be worth going above and beyond for. When I asked for a picnic on this last night of this particular trip, you pulled out all the stops to make sure it was the best picnic ever. You have taught me that I deserve to be continually pursued and that I will never deserve anything less than the best.

        You have truly taught me how to be light hearted and let things go. Over our hundreds of FaceTime and Skype calls you helped me to remain cheerful through everything. You taught me that a cheerful heart is what brings glory to God. You have brought joy to the lives of everyone around you by your spirit and reminded me that life is not meant to be taken too seriously and that the more you joke around and walk around whistling, the better everything becomes.

       You have helped me in countless ways to become more faithful, more cheerful, more trusting, stronger, braver, and more dedicated. I know you will continue to teach me many things as we press forward in this great gift of life God has given us.  Thank you for being one of the great men in this world who chooses virtue, faith, love, and sacrifice. Thank you for the lessons up until now...thank you in great advance for all I will learn through you and your joyful heart in the years to come.

Powder Blue Caskets and the Resurrection.

But if Christ is preached as raised from the dead, how can some among you say there is no resurrection of the dead? If there is no resurrection of the dead, then neither has Christ been raised. And if Christ has not been raised, then empty is our preaching; empty, too, your faith.

1 Corinthians 15: 12-14

            Little powder blue caskets are not something my humanity can stomach. 

            Last week, I sang at the funeral of a 14-year-old girl. She died of cancer after a 2 year battle with it, and the Church was full at her celebration of life...full of people in beautiful spring colors weeping for loss of this sweet young soul. She was laid to rest in a casket that was the most beautiful color of blue I have ever seen. And as they rolled her out of the crowded church at the end of Mass, I sang it for all the people to join in...

...Indescribable, uncontainable, you placed the stars in the sky and you know them by name... you are amazing God...

            My humanity does not want to sing it.

            My humanity just wants to shout and shake my fists. Really, God? How is it that you are so amazing? I prayed that you would heal this little girl over and over again. I prayed in the most magnificent of cathedrals, at the Sacre Coeur in Paris and at the Vatican in Rome. Do you not answer prayers for healing of children, even from St. Peter's Basilica?! You did not heal her and now she will be buried tomorrow. Joyful, radiant little girls should not die. We should not have to sing praise songs at the funerals of children.

            And He stops me in my humanity and in all my unbelief and speaks gently into my soul, in the way He always does...

            My daughter, do you not believe in the Resurrection?

            Do you not believe that I came to die so that every person who dies might have eternal life?  

            Do you not believe what you profess...I believe in the Resurrection of the dead and the life of the world to come...and that Christina gets to be with Me and with Me is the most wonderful place she will ever be?

            And it is then that I know, again I am reminded...I do believe. In all the suffering of this world and confusion at death I must continually step out of my humanity and believe. I am a believer in the Kingdom of Heaven. And as a believer in the Kingdom, I do not live in what I can understand as a person, I live in my deep and abiding faith in the life, death, and Resurrection of Christ. And in my faith I know that this small girl may be lifeless to us all but that her death is not the end because Christ came that we might have life.

            This coming celebration of Easter Sunday is not a day to simply wear fancy pastel clothes, go to Mass, celebrate the end of Lent, and eat good food. It is a day to rejoice in our belief because this Sunday gives meaning to our life and our death.

            This Sunday, we will celebrate. This life is not the end. Thanks be to God.

I am the Way
Follow Me and take My hand
And I am the Truth
Embrace Me and you'll understand
And I am the Life
And through Me you'll live again

-Deathbed, Relient K
 

Forward.

"You can't start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one."

                My little sister says it out loud. She felt like reading off an inspirational quote she saw on Pinterest, she says.

                And it rings loud into the air between us because I know the truth of that statement.

                I am too often a re-reader. Perhaps you can commiserate. Maybe you are a re-reader, too.

                It is an important and healthy life skill to be able to look at, revisit, or consider the past in order to grow. Growing from the past and making positive changes because of it is very productive. However, sometimes you and I can fall into the trap of living there. We build a little house in the past and we sit in it and think and re-think and mull over everything and we let it affect our hearts and our souls and it slowly starts to steal what we own and what God gives.

                Our God gives new life. Our God gives resurrection.

                Your past does not solely consist of the list of shameful things you have done or the mistakes you have made. Living in the past consists of forming decisions based on what other people have said about you, or constantly thinking of unhappy experiences you have had. It looks like an inability to forgive those who have hurt you. It manifests in dwelling on things you wish you could have done better or things you wish had turned out differently. It looks a lot like spending a life consistently remembering the ways you have disappointed others or disappointed yourself.

                And these things, if given the power, will ruin a life that is meant to be joyful. They will make you deaf to our good God and His resounding promise..."I make all things new." They can destroy present joy, steal your faith, or leave you hopeless. Dwelling on these things can wreck relationships or rid you of any sense of direction.

                But the beauty of this life is that you and I both get to choose. We get to select our direction...forward or backward.

                I am persistently taking great steps in consciously choosing to not dwell on the things of old. For those of us who fall into this trap, it can take a continual decision against the dwelling. But today, after she says it out loud, I think to myself...

                It is time to stop re-reading the last chapter. It is time to start the new one. It is always time to move.

               Forward.

Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? Isaiah 43:18-19

The Great Swimwear Debate.

            The great swimwear debate. It is a longstanding one, filled with many opinions, heated discussions, lengthy blogs on modesty, and thoughts and feelings from all sides. 

            And yes, this year I am chiming in with a few words on the topic. I mostly wish to speak about class and how dressing with class is reflective of your dignity and worth.

            Spring break and summer are quickly approaching, which means this anticipated and/or dreaded bathing suit season is here...and I am in greater disbelief than ever before with the suits being sold to the mass market of women and the suits that have become popular in the last few years. "Brazilian cut" bikinis - also coined "cheeky bikinis" are a trend in 2015. If you are a young woman, you probably see them on girls on Instagram, at the beach, at the pool...young women hanging out in these suits in public. They look much like this...

This bottom piece you see here is laying front side down. Yes, that small piece you see is the "back."

              If wearing a small bikini was not seen as comparable to underwear in the eyes of some people before...this new swing of bikini fashion has confirmed it. These suits you see here are underwear you wear outside. 

            And to the point of class...wearing your underwear outside is not classy. 

            It is not classy to show your booty to everyone you pass by on the beach or at the pool - 18 year old and 80 year old men alike. It is not and never will be classy to put a picture of your backside on your Instagram in a bikini. Wearing a swimsuit that covers a few square inches and reveals nearly your entire body to the general public says sadly and loudly...

            "I am an object to be looked at. Here is nearly every inch of me for all the world to see." 

            Our society vehemently advocates the idea that the more skin you and I show, the more empowered we are. A new website was recently debuted on which a woman interviews other women and photographs them naked, and most of the articles I read about it shouted of how this is empowerment. Women showing everything to the world means we are empowered.

            And yet, you are so, so much more than an object. You are more than the body you live in and dressing yourself with class and your inherent dignity in mind proclaims that with conviction. You do not have to be naked or nearly naked to be empowered or to feel beautiful or to let people know that you feel great in the skin you live in. Believe me when I tell you - the more covered up you are, the more you say to the world what needs to be said to the world...a woman's body is not something to be ogled at. 

            When I am shopping for the perfect swimsuit this summer, I will look at buying from a company like Beverly Swimwear. She sells handmade suits that look like this...

            These suits champion class and dignity and respect of my body as a wonderful creation rather than an item to be looked at. You can see all of her lovely, classy, and fun suits at www.beverlyswimwear.com. In the past few years I have bought my suits at Target where they have a small selection of pretty, classy suits as well. 

            So for the sake of your worth and the beautiful creation that you are - think about it when you find yourself scanning the store racks in the next few months. The way you dress your body sends many messages about who we as women are. What do you want to tell people about the beauty women possess by the things you choose for yourself?

In Defense of Catholic Match.

"Where and when will I find Mr. Right?"

            Women write to me asking this question very often. I get e-mails from women who are struggling as they see many of their friends finding significant others, getting asked on dates, etc., while they feel alone and totally hopeless when it comes to dating. They share with me about how they pray and pray for the right man to come along, or pray to have any glimmer of hope at all by going on even one date with a good man. Dating in the Christian or Catholic world in hopes of finding a spouse can be a really difficult season of any young adult's life.

            I remember very vividly over three years ago when my sister was sharing this exact sentiment with me one night. The great men were nowhere to be found in the arenas she was involved in across the board. She knew it was highly unlikely that she would find them in the bar scene in Hollywood, or randomly bump into one in the produce section at the grocery store. She desired a meaningful and lasting relationship with a great Catholic man and hoped to be married sometime in the nearer future. As we were having this conversation one night, something stirred within me and I knew I had to push her along the way, so I made her do something I thought was totally crazy.

            I forced her to sign up for Catholic Match.

            We cried laughing as we filled out her profile, thinking it was the goofiest thing she would ever do. I was surely hoping that she would not end up even more hopeless than before as we entered her TV habits, her favorite style of liturgy, her favorite saints, and her "Agree" or "Disagree" to those 7 questions regarding how "in line" she is with the doctrinal teachings of the Catholic Church. Our sides split with laughter and God was in hysterics right along with us.  

            She met the man she would marry online a week later.

            Online dating can be an uncomfortable topic or thought for some people. My sister's story certainly does not happen for everyone who signs up because it is not a surefire way to find your spouse, but some are completely closed to the possibility. Some still feel there is a stigma attached to it...they fear or dread meeting someone and then having to explain to everyone who asks..."We met online." Some people who are struggling rightfully feel that God does not need an online resource to bring people together. Sure, he doesn't need it. But does he use it? Absolutely.

            Say what you will about online dating. I am well aware that it has brought disaster for some people, a greater hopelessness for some, and a huge cause for celebration and joy for others. All I know in my own personal life is that I will witness the most spectacular of Sacraments this weekend and will be a part of a grand party with many of my friends and family celebrating a wonderful love that God wrote into the story of the world. And the avenue He chose to make this all possible...was the Internet.

If I Had One More Week to Live.

            I have been stunned by death recently. 

            Because of all my travels, my reach to dozens of different communities is far and wide.  I feel that this makes the amount of great news I hear greater than what most people hear, and in turn it makes the amount of tragic news I hear far greater. 

            I have heard of more tragedy than my heart can handle in the past few months. Two parents of former teens have died suddenly in car accidents. An old friend in her 30s passed away from cancer. The lives of teens at parishes I have spoken at have been tragically lost. A friend of many of my good friends, a faithful father of four, was given a cancer diagnosis and died weeks later. A wonderful deacon, friend, and husband lost his life suddenly in a heartbreaking helicopter crash. The confusion about death and suffering is deep in the communities affected by these deaths. 

            And as I sit here am struck again and again by how quickly death can come.

            Through these shared stories and pain, I learn over and over again that our lives, each of our lives, could end in one short instant. The life within me is the most fragile thing I possess, yet I, like so many others, act in many ways as though this is the furthest thing from the truth.

            When I was in high school and Mrs. Nick was my religion teacher, she would give us prompts every day at the start of class to get us thinking, to pray about, or to ponder. There is one prompt that has stayed with me even until this day..."If you found out you had one week to live, who would you call and why are you waiting?"

            So with all this loss I have been thinking lately about the way in which I would choose to do things if I was indeed given one more week to live. Some would perceive this as morbidity, but this is my personal and human attempt to try to make something good come out of sadness and untimely death. 

            What would I wish I had done differently if someone told me today that my life would end so soon? 

            Quite honestly, I would wish I had worried less and lived more deeply in faith rather than fear. I would wish that I had smiled more at people more and paid more attention to listening and engaging people in conversation.  I'd wish I had spent less time on my phone and more time looking up at the world. I'd wish I had spent less time stressing about whether God would provide and just trust that when He says He will, He will. I'd wish I had hurried less and lived each moment more slowly, more intentionally. I would lament the fact that there were so many beautiful sunsets I never stopped to look at.  I'd wish I had dared to go beyond the surface in so many of my friendships with others - to be unafraid to dive into deep and meaningful instead of avoiding depth at all costs to keep everyone comfortable. I'd wish I'd spent more time celebrating myself rather than focusing on all the things I think are wrong with me. I'd wish I had done more random acts of kindness - like all those strangers I feel the Holy Spirit prompting me to encourage? I'd wish I had told them what the Holy Spirit wanted me to tell them rather than being afraid they'll take me for a nut. I'd wish I had given more and taken less for granted. I would wish I had better been able to let the little things go...because, do they really matter in the grand scheme of things? I would wish I had lived with more reckless and wild abandon. 

            I have pondered and thought deeply about these things because when I realize that my days are so carefully numbered, I look at what I'd wish I had done differently and I can change these things now. I can decide from this moment forward to live more radically and more purposefully. I want to live inside the reality of the fragility of life and I want to make positive changes because of tragedy. I want to make sense of death by changing the way I live and the way I love. 

            And so I ask you...what would your list look like? How would you live a more radical life if you found out this week was it?

            If you feel moved to...ponder these questions in your own life. May the fragility of our lives affect the way we live, the way we love, and the way we give. 

"Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom." Psalm 90:12

The Endless Road to Perfection.

"And now that you don't have to be perfect, you can be good." - East of Eden

            Recently, I read the tragic story of Madison Holleran, a wonderful and vibrant 19-year-old girl who took her own life last year. She was an excellent student and athlete, described as a wonderful friend and daughter, and attended the University of Pennsylvania. She struggled with depression, and her family recounts how greatly she felt the pressure to be perfect - to be a perfect athlete, to get perfect grades, to be the perfect girl. The pressure to be perfect weighed very heavily on her heart - as I know it does with some of you reading this now.

            I see all too much of this relentless pursuit as I speak to women of all ages. There are many of us who put pressure on ourselves or receive pressure from parents or family members to be the best, to get the best grades, to be the top of our class, to be the best Christian, to come in first place, to be the perfect mother, or to simply look like we have it all together.

           We are in constant pursuit of perfection because we often fall into the trap of believing that our best is not enough.

            We strive to reach a career we think will make us look perfect or attain the body we think is perfect or achieve the grade point average we think is satisfactory enough for our résumé and for getting into college. It is a vicious and exhausting cycle, this quest for flawlessness, this idea that it must be possible to do better than our best, this idea that if I fail - I must be a failure.

            Today I want to remind you of this - perhaps an evident reminder but something we forget all too often - the good news of Christ says this... You do not have to be perfect. You do not have to have it all together. I certainly do not, nor have I ever met a woman who did. The lie that we must achieve perfection in some form in our lives is simply that - a lie. The book of Genesis states it in black and white...

God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him. Genesis 1:27

            We are each perfectly created by our perfect Creator. We cannot obtain more perfection that was given to each of us when we were conceived. You and I each have our strengths and weaknesses (I, admittedly, have many of the latter), and we must recall more often that this is perfectly okay. It is okay to struggle, it is okay to be vulnerable, it is okay to have weakness. God does not expect perfection out of you. Do not be harder on yourself than God is on you.

            Today and every day, if ever you find yourself on this road, do not make it your goal to be perfect, simply make every effort to be your greatest self. Whether you are a student, mother, friend, sister, career woman - whatever roles you hold in your life - our good God is cheering you on, expecting that you do your best and only your best - because your best is what He created you to do. Your best is enough. Everything you are is and always will be enough.

To All the Seminarians.

Greater love has no man than this, than to lay down one's life for one's friends. John 15:13 

To all the seminarians,

            The other day I got a phone call from a wonderful friend of mine named David. David is a great friend from high school who is a seminarian serving for a year in the Philippines. By his holy and selfless example, David teaches me how to love, serve, and give of myself relentlessly so that others would come to know Christ. I am consistently inspired by his willingness to become a seminarian and answer a call to the priesthood. 

            Throughout my travels, I meet countless numbers of you. Each time I meet one of you, I am overwhelmed by your bravery, because I cannot imagine what it must be like to answer a call to the priesthood in 2015.

            We live in a culture fully centered on self and success, and achievement in our world is based on what we own and what we have accomplished. You have thrown this ideal out the window in the most inspiring way. You have decided to center your life completely on sacrifice. I watch as you give up your freedom to live where you choose, make as much money as you can, and go from job to job as you please. You teach me by your choosing to throw these cultural ideals out the window in my own life. Thank you.

            I am inspired by you, seminarians, because you are young men willing to lay your lives down for whole communities of people. You are willing to wake up in the middle of the night to go administer Last Rites, or to run the financial and the relational sides of a parish at the same time. You may have to hear confessions day in and day out - even when you are at the end of your rope - because you care deeply about the souls of people. Many of you will wear a million hats - CEO, listener, giver, friend, teacher, helping hand, the list goes on and on. Thank you for signing up for all of these things. Our Church needs you. 

            As I see you valiantly answering this call, my heart breaks in a way because I also know that the priesthood can also be a very sore subject in our society. Because of all the terribly tragic and unfortunate circumstances of child abuse in the past many years, we live in a society with a good number of rightfully angry people, but many of whom think and speak very poorly of Catholic priests as a whole. I wish that our great priests were able to have the other side of the story told to the world - but beautiful, quiet lives of sacrifice rarely, if ever, make the news. I am sure you have heard the opinions of angry family members or angry people. Thank you for saying yes even in the face of this terrible adversity.    

            I admire you even more because I know how many of you have sacrificed your desire to be a husband and a father to become a priest and give Christ to those looking to be loved and to know Love. I will never forget sitting at a table at a wedding reception with a young and vibrant priest friend of mine. We were talking about what it must be like to be a parent and have a child get married one day, and he said, "I always dreamed of how cool it would be to be a dad to daughters…"

            And my heart was heavy and light all at the same time as I looked at his white collar that speaks of his great sacrifice. 

            So to David, Taylor, Mark, Ben, Joe, and Tim... all the rest of you that I know and have met and all the rest of you that I do not know…thank you. Thank you will never be enough but today it is all I can offer to express how much I admire you, how brave you are, and how grateful I am for your yes because of all the ways you are needed in our Church and in our world. 

Hold steadfast and let us show ourselves courageous for the sake of our people and the cities of our God. 1 Chronicles 19:13

Some of my wonderful new seminarian friends in the Diocese of Richmond, Virginia.

Why Today is the Day to Break Up with Your Boyfriend.

            I received many wonderful responses to my piece "When God Provides." I got texts from old friends, girls I knew in high school, former students, and e-mails and messages from many other women. Some wrote with hopeful hearts, some with broken hearts, many had expectant and joyful hearts. Some wrote sharing they knew they were settling for less than they deserve. The overarching sentiment from all these women was this… "Thank you for reminding me that I deserve the best."

            So today I write to the young women settling for far from the best. 

            Life is too short to mince words here. I say this because I have a great love in my heart for you even though I may not know you. I say it because I want the best for every woman born to this earth. So yes...today is the day. The time is now. If you are settling for a relationship that is not good for you, today is the day that it comes to an end. Consider this your pep talk, a sign you have been waiting for, or some other form of courage…today is the day you must break up with your boyfriend. 

            I know well that relationships are tough work and they are never perfect. I also fully acknowledge that men are not the only ones who have the power to use another, belittle another, or infiltrate a relationship with negative actions and words. But today I speak only to you, the woman who knows it deep down - that the place you find yourself in is not right or good. 

            Perhaps you have already been mulling this over…maybe for a day, or a month, or a year. There is no need to over think it…you know well and deep in your heart if what you are involved in is good for you or not.

It is the duty of every man to uphold the dignity of every woman. St. John Paul II

            A relationship with a good man does not make you feel used, dirty, stupid, or put-down. A relationship with a good man does not lead you away from God and a life of faith, make you cry yourself to sleep, fill you with shame or guilt, or make you feel ignored. A relationship with a good man does not make you feel empty or disposable. 

            A relationship with a good man makes you know that you are honored, strengthened, set apart, respected, and of great worth. A relationship with a good man helps you to see the face of Christ and move toward this Christ. Settling for a boy or a man who makes you feel any of the former is a waste of your precious life. 

            "But I am in love with him…" "But we have been together for so long…" "I told him what I felt and I think he is really going to try to change…" "I know in my heart you are right but I. just. can't…"

            Yes. You. Can.

            Tell me a million reasons why you cannot let it go - I have heard them all. And to all of the reasons you can find, with all the love in my heart for you I want you to know this - love is not about a feeling. It is and always will be about sacrifice and the lifting up of another. Authentic love fortifies the other, magnifies God, and brings one deep peace and joy above all. Love is not about the amount of time you have been together, nor is love about breaking up and making up and jumping back in because this is what you know, this is what is comfortable. Relationships are not everything - you do not need a boyfriend to feel joyful, esteemed, or fulfilled. I want authentic love for you, and I know you desire the same. That is why today is the day. 

            Yes, ending a relationship is a scary thing. Be brave, be honest, be open, be respectful, and be bold. Life can look very different all of a sudden and your heart may very well break - but the dawn always comes after heartbreak if you press into the One who loves you endlessly. The Lord is indeed near to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:19).  He is the One who will tell you by His death as many times as you need to hear it - "You are loved, wanted, precious, believed in, and of infinite worth. I have called you by name, and you are Mine." 

            Stay in a relationship that is bad for you - and you may very well miss the man God wants to write into your story now, if that be His will for your life. Spend time settling and you throw away the time you could be using to prepare your heart for the man God created you to be with. 

            If you need personal encouragement, contact me. I will e-mail with you, talk to you on the phone, whatever it takes to help you take the step you know you must take. I want you to feel encouraged, loved, and supported in choosing what you know is best for you. Take heart and know that I am here cheering you on in choosing good for your heart and in your waiting and preparing for a good man. Because you - yes, you - deserve the absolute best.

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified, for the Lord your God goes with you. He will never leave or forsake you. Deuteronomy 31:6

The Time I Was Invited to a Roe v Wade Party.

        I have one memory from my women's studies class in college that will stay with me forever. It happened on January 22. As class was ending, a girl nearby looked at me and said, "Hey, if you want to come, we're all having cake on the lawn this afternoon to celebrate Roe v. Wade." I don't remember her name or what she looked like. I only remember how instantaneously disgusted I was in this short exchange. 

         Women celebrating the killing of innocent lives with celebratory cake. Is this the reality of the world I live in? 

        I was so stunned and confused by this offer I couldn't muster any sort of response as to why the killing of babies is not something to be rejoiced in. I could only utter, "I'm actually pro-life...so, no." 

        The years since this moment have gone on to make me more passionate about abortion, the dignity of all human life, and the greatness of the mission God has for every woman. I have spoken with too many teen girls who have been raised in a society that tells them that killing children is acceptable...they are raised to believe that it's just what we do. 

        Recently, I was at Franciscan University for a conference with the band. We were praying in the chapel on campus and as we walked outside of this chapel, we saw the Tomb of the Unborn, where the remains of seven aborted babies are buried. I was standing behind a friend as I heard him say, "Man. He would have been born a few months before me." I closer to the grave.

         Agnes. January 21, 1989. 

       She pierces my heart immediately. I was born on July 28, 1989, about 6 months after Agnes was taken from this world. A flood of emotions comes over me, and I want to scream at the unfairness that I was given the opportunity to live and she wasn't. 

         The opportunity to live is a beautiful thing. This planet is full of so many beautiful places and so many fascinating people - we get to do things like make friends, sing songs, soak in sunsets, fall in love, swim in the ocean, ride bicycles, love people, and walk along the wonderful journey of life with Christ...all things Agnes was never given the opportunity to do.

          And though my heart is overcome with sadness, I am angry in this moment. I am angry that our culture champions the fact that because Agnes was unwanted, she was allowed to be killed. I am angry that I get to live out the plan God has written for my life and she does not. I'm mad that she will never know the beauty of creation, the gift of laughter, the wild roller coaster of life's ups and downs, the beauty of friendship, and all those breathtaking moments in life that fill you with wonder and awe. 

         And I am mad that women who think they are having cake to celebrate women's reproductive rights are actually celebrating Agnes' death. 

         So as this week brings all my sadness and anger and bewilderment to the forefront of my thoughts and emotions, I pray as I always do...that the tragic injustice of the killing of innocent life will one day come to an end. We pray for the healing of the hearts and souls of all those here on Earth so deeply affected by abortion - mothers, fathers, and families. And in my own small way I will continue to press on and teach young women about their inherent dignity and the dignity of all so that one day, if they do become pregnant, married or unmarried, ideal situation or extremely difficult situation - they will choose to honor life and carry out the greatness of their mission as a woman. I can only teach, encourage, and love them and hope that, under their care of the care of another family aching for a child, they will give the baby inside of them the same gift you and I received - the opportunity to be dazzled by this life. 

Where Two or Three Are Gathered.

            There are many wonderful things about traveling around the country. One of my favorites is attending Mass at all different kinds of churches with many different ways of doing things. Most often I am pleasantly surprised at how some churches operate, but a few times I have been shocked.

            Recently, I was visiting a friend for the weekend and we went to Mass at a parish in Southern California neither of us were familiar with. This parish was very traditional - there were big signs outside about dress code, the priest gave a homily about abortion, quoting the Catechism, and the altar servers were wearing many robes. I did not notice anything that I had not seen or heard before until the Eucharistic prayer came along.

"And looking up to heaven, to you, his almighty Father, he gave you thanks and praise. He broke the bread, gave it to his disciples,"

Click-click-click-click...

"This is my body which will be given up for you."

Click-click-click-click-click....

            There are two ushers walking down the aisle, both with their backs to the altar, each with one of those little silver 'people-counters' someone would use at an event - such as a sporting event or a place with a maximum capacity. The clicking continues throughout the Eucharistic prayer.

            It is immediately apparent... They are counting their numbers during the most important moments of the most important thing we do. And I struggle to focus because I am in disbelief. When did the Eucharist become about numbers?

            I went to one of the ushers afterward to see if my inference was correct, and he indeed responded, "We're just checking numbers for attendance." Every parish certainly needs people to attend Mass to function as an organization, but I found the time they chose to count their turnout to be very symbolic.

            I talk to remarkable, selfless people who run all types of programs in their parish ministries, youth ministries, and college ministries all the time. Many of them are often rightfully discouraged because nobody seems to be showing up. These wonderful ministers and volunteers have trouble feeling like they are making any difference in their community when 8 people come to the night they worked so hard to prepare for, or when 3 teens show up to a Bible study they have gone out of their way to make happen. Low attendance can be so disheartening, and it can take our focus quickly away from what really matters and cause us to quickly forget why we work so hard as ministers.

            But this moment in Church brought me right back to the simple truth...It is not about the numbers and it will never be about the numbers. It is always about Christ.

            If you are one of the discouraged, one of the ones who cannot help but count attendance and let that be a reflection of the difference you as an individual are making for the Kingdom...remember that the ones who do show up need you to show them Jesus. Each college student, each parishioner, each teen who shows up, even if it is just one...to that one person you may be the only opportunity in their life for someone to show them Christ and teach them about the King who died for them. You could truly be it. It is like the story about the man throwing the starfish on the beach back into the ocean. "Why would you waste time doing that, there are way too many, you will never get them all," a man scoffed at him. "Yes, but it matters to this one," he says, as he throws them back in, one by one.

            Our beautiful faith is not about a turnout, but a Savior whom each and every single person in this world needs to hear of and learn about.

            If you are one of the disheartened today or any day, take heart when the numbers may be low, for Jesus said it to us himself,

Where two or three are gathered, there I am in the midst of them. Matthew 18:20

When God Provides.

            During my freshman year at Arizona State, I was riding my bright yellow bicycle to an economics exam when my bike chain broke. It split right into two pieces.

            Annoyed at my misfortune, I walked my bike the rest of the way to the exam (I have moments where I'm still thrilled over the fact that I will never have to study economics ever again), and after it was over I walked it to the campus bike shop. They told me to come back in an hour or so and I would have a brand new chain and fully-functioning bicycle. So I went to get lunch, and then I walked back. The bike repair guy said, "I have good news and bad news. The bad news is we didn't have any more gray bike chains. The good news is that we had a bright fuchsia one, so we put that one on your bike." I was ecstatic. "Oh, and it also has sparkles. I hope that's OK, too. And since it's not what you asked for, we gave you a 50% discount." 

God will meet all your needs according to the riches of His glory in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19

            This one fantastic moment in the bike shop was a simple and concrete representation of so many things our good God has done in my life. 

            We often ask God for things or tell God what we need, and God always responds in some way, shape, or form. Indeed, His response is often a surprise, not always what we expect, and does not often come on our own timeline. He may give us something we did not think we need or something that is a little different. I am sure you can recall some of those moments in your own life. 

            Presently, I can see this scenario in the love story God is writing in my life. God has certainly given me a wild love story for the books. It will take me a very long time to write out the whole story one day, so I will share just a part of it with you. 

            I wondered for a long time in my teens and early twenties about what authentic love would be like. I went on dates with plenty of jerks, and over time this ultimately led me to hope...maybe I'll find a nice guy one day. 'Nice' was the bar I wanted to reach. My expectations were mediocre, in the same way that I hoped for a gray bike chain that one day in the bike shop. I thought a gray one was all I needed. I thought a nice guy was all I needed, too. 

            God certainly gave me more than 'nice' and the surprise was that the man He wrote into my life lived in Europe. His name is Daniël and not only is he nice...he is convicted, strong, compassionate, selfless, and holy. In every women's session I give, I tell the women about a letter Daniël wrote to me. After spending some time together and before we began dating, he wrote me a letter that ended with this...

            "I have desires to honor, protect, and serve you, but most importantly lead you closer to Christ in every possible way." 

            Yes, I hoped for a guy who was decent and good. God has given me more than that…much, much more. God gave me a man who has shown me Christ day in and day out. I did not know what authentic love would look like in my own life, and Daniël has shown it to me in every way. Dating someone who lives 6,000 miles away takes a very serious, strong, and deep commitment. Daniël has stopped at nothing to commit to loving me, to sacrificing for me, to leading me to a stronger prayer life, and to helping me love myself for who I am. When the going has gotten rough, he has carried me forward. He prays for me and with me. He respects my body as my own and we choose chastity together and he makes me know well that I am honored and loved. And when it recently came time to really dig in and sacrifice, he did not flinch. He moved his life halfway around the planet to show me what true love really is…true love is great sacrifice. He has sacrificed the life he knows - the people he knows and the lifestyle he knows and the home he knows - to show me his love. And I am overwhelmed and grateful because I have received so much more than I ever thought I needed. I glimpse the love of the God of the universe in the way I am loved by this man. 

            I know well and deeply that when God provides in His ways and in His timing it is always better that we imagined. And it is always more beautiful than we thought it would be. 

            Women, don't settle for less than amazing when it comes to the man you allow into your heart. If it be His will for your life, God will provide you with the most astounding love - if you settle for mediocre you will miss out on God's plan, a plan of abundance and much more joy than you ever thought possible.

            Ask the married couple at the wedding feast in Cana. They needed only a bit more wine, but God provided the astonishing abundance of 180 gallons.

            We hope and we ask for gray, and God gives us fuchsia. And not only does God give us fuchsia, we get sparkles and half-off, too.

Life Lessons from My 4th Grade Self.

"What will keep you from doing much good — is caring too much what others think." - Ann Voskamp        

       When I was in the 4th grade, I dressed up as Theodore Roosevelt.

             Each year, all the students in 4th grade were required to do a "Biography" project. We were told to pick anybody throughout history to read about, then had to dress up as the person and tell the class about their life. I picked Teddy Roosevelt. Unbeknownst to me, I was the first girl in the history of this assignment to choose to be a boy. I identified with him as a human because he had severe asthma throughout his life. I was diagnosed with asthma at the age of 2, and it was both neat and comforting to me that as children we both suffered in the same way.

                So I didn't think for a moment about what anyone would think if I put on a fake mustache and didn't present the life story of Amelia Earhart, Helen Keller, or Betsy Ross.

                I did it just because I wanted to.

                I unearthed this photo recently and have spent much time thinking about that little girl. The more I have pondered it, the more I have grown to admire my 4th grade self, because I have lost much of this courage along the way in my life.

                For a number of years, I was very conscious and worried about others' opinions. I have experienced a disheartening and difficult amount of instances of people speaking very poorly about me behind my back, both in school and in ministry. Worrying about what others thought and said about me became my greatest struggle. Because of these incidents, I tried for a number of years to blend in at school, at events, and among people because I thought…if no one notices that I am here, they cannot form an opinion about me. I didn't dare do anything different or speak up out of fear that someone would find something negative to say.

                I have spent much time, energy, and prayer moving past this, and have thought a lot about our society's preoccupation with what others think. As we grow to become adults, we waste an exorbitant amount of time in our lives worrying about what others think of what we own…what we look like…what we choose to do with our lives…what we wear…who we are. And oh, how it steals our joy, and our potential for living more radical, original, beautiful lives.           

                We can fall into this space where we don't buy the dress with the crazy pattern that we feel great in because girls might think, "What is she wearing?" We lose the bravery to ask our friends to youth group because people might say, "She is way too into her faith." We lose the courage to let fun parts of our personality shine because others might think, "Wow, she is annoying." We worry about what people will think if we speak up when we know we should, and somewhere along the way our audacity to pave a new way of doing things can completely disappear. And surely, you and I could both spend many moments wondering, "What would people think if…"

                But the truth of the matter is that you are not defined by the opinions of others, you are defined by the God who made you to be you.

                I am continually searching for the fullness of that spirit within me, that spirit of a 4th grader who wouldn't stop to wonder what other people would think or say. As I continue to re-collect this spirit of being who I am, I want to encourage you to gather your courage today. Be who you are and stop worrying what others think. Life is far, far too short for us to keep worrying and wondering. Be you. The unashamed, original, brave you.